Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
1. I love that cute smirk you give when im laying next to you.
2. I love your beautiful eyes.
3. I love the way you laugh.
4. I love how much you make me smile
5. I love how when i smile, you smile... even if its a million dollar smile.
6. I love how gentle your kisses are.
7. I love when you fight for me.
8. I love being in your arms.
9. I love how you got me hooked on beef and rice.
10. I love how sweet you really are.
11. I love that you love my family.
12. I love that i love yours.
13. I love that i can see myself with you forever.
14. I love waking up to your face.
15. I love eating feta cheese because of you!
16. I love the way you hold my hand.
17. I love the way you dont like kissing me in front of your friends.
18. I love getting sweet texts from you, even though no one would get why they're sweet.
19. I love your hair.
20. I love your glasses.
21. I love the look in your eyes when you first see me on a friday.
22. I love how much we hate eachothers music, but we deal with it.
23. I love seeing bad horror movies with you.
24. I love the way you have an accent on certain words.
25. I love the way you kiss my nose.
26. I love the way you take very good care of me.
27. I love the fact you know all my flaws, and still love me.
28. I love that i cannot see myself with anyone else.
29. I love waking up to your ringtone.
30. I love that you share your dreams with me.
31. I love that you bring out the best in me.
32. I love that you wil always take my side.
33. I love the way you look when you sleep.
34. I love that i know i can always count on you.
35. I love that despite our differences we can always meet on a common ground.
36. I love being myself around you.
37. I love the way you get me to admit when im wrong.
38. I love that i can trust you with any secret, ever.
39. I love how we always have fun.
40. I love how we put up with eachothers friends, just to make eachotehr happy.
41. I love that you are not only my lover, but my best friend.
42. I love how dedicated you are to the giants.
43. I love how dedicated you are to your school work.
44. I love that it doesnt bother you when i talk to my dogs in weird voices. hehe.
45. I love that we never actually watch a full movie without kissing.
46. I love your teeth.
47. I love that sometimes you drive me crazy, but im so crazy about you.
48. I love the way you get angry when i get hurt.
49. I love the way you push me to do my best.
50. I love the way you'll say sorry even if it isn't your fault, just to end a fight.
51. I love that your a lover, and not a fighter.
52. I love how i fall asleep on your chest almost instantly.
53. I love when you tickle me, even though i hate it.
54. I love your weird sleeping habbits.
55. I love your obsession with sexbox.
56. I love when you tell me im beautiful, because you truly make me feel that way.
57. I love that you are my better half.
58. I love how attached you are.
59. I love how attached i am.
60. I love how you always know what im going to say, without me saying it.
61. I love that you aren't afraid to speak your mind.
62. I love how patient you are when i don't understand something, and how you will take
the time to explain untill i do.
63. I love the way you make me feel protected.
64. I love the way, when i say im leaving, youll never just let me go.
65. I love the way you know, i never actually will leave.
66. I love how you forgive me.
67. I love how i can never hate you.
68. I love listening to your voice before i go to sleep.
69. I love when im feeling the worst, you're the only one who can make me feel happy again.
70. I love that you can cry in front of me and not feel embarassed.
71. I love the sight of your car pulling into my driveway.
72. I love the way you pull me close in the movies.
73. I love when you kiss my shoulders.
74. I love cuddling with you.
75. I love the butterflies you STILL give me, after a year.
76. I love how i know those butterflies aren't going any where.
77. I love knowing we will always make up after a fight.
78. I love you because you make me feel comfortable.
78. I love how i would spend every day with you if i could.
79. I love how much i miss you when you're not here.
80. I love how i dont have to worry about you.
81. I love that you are my first thought when i wake up, and my last before i fall asleep.
82. I love that you want to grow old with me.
83. I love that there isn't anything in this world i want more.
84. I love never having to wonder if you love me, because i know.
85. I love that you never give up on me.
86. I love the feeling of knowing the best is yet to come.
87. I love knowing that you hold the key to my heart.
88. I love how you look in dress clothes.
89. I love that you wear the things i buy you.
90. I love the way you put up with my pms.
91. I love how much you hate shopping with me, but you still do it.
92. I love the way i cannot imagine my life anymore, without you in it.
93. I love your ability to talk things through.
94. I love that you can still take my breath away.
95. I love how much i hated valentines day, but now that i have you i dont mind it.
96. I love being able to say you are mine.
97. I love bragging to everyone about the cute things you do.
98. I love that you are everything i've ever wanted.
99. I love that you aren't perfect, but you are the perfect one for me.
100. I love how easy it was for me to come up with this list.
I love how easy it is for me to love you. Your my everything,
and that won't ever change.
"I carry your heart with me,
I carry it in my heart
and I'm never without it.
anywhere I go, you go, my dear."
I love you gregory, now and forever. :)
S'agapo
Yesterday was our anniversary, and i wrote this for you.
i am now, the happiest i've ever been.
I dont think you will ever realize how much you really have impacted my life, and how you change it everyday.
thank you.
A dream is a wish your heart makes
You were my wish.
<3
the new is in
im feeling better already
i shed my skin
i shed my skin
my head is starting to steady."
so my brother didnt call to wish me a happy birthday
it really sucks that i can actually say, for the first time in my life that i didnt even expect him too.
for god fucking sakes, he even made it apoint to call when he was in jail!
i dont know what is happening to the people i look up to most.
they all seem to be crumbling slowly.
marcus faster than the rest
my mims doctor said she doesnt have any more disease in her blood.
thank god.
i feel as if this whole thing changed her though..i hope she snaps back to herself soon.
i can officially say, i dont want to live in my house any longer
the sooner i get out of this shitty town the better
i dont know why people insist on staying here when the have the opportunity to go.
you see i never had that, parents offering to send me off to college, i mean granted i didnt want to go, but if i had the opportunity i probably would have went..just to go.
everyone stays because they will miss their friends.
NEWSFLASH: everyone fucks you over. You dont stay friends with the same people forever...although at one time, i disagreed with that statement.
ive been fooled and fucked over by the people i thought the highest of, and frankly i cant handle too much more of that
i can say i am to blame, cause im vunerable, and i trust far too easily, but thankfully ive come to my senses.
jeanette and i have been getting alot closer recently, shes probably one of the only people who almost truly get me, aside from steph.
and not like, they just say they understand, and feel my pain..but they actually do. just look at me, and know whats wrong without having to ask kind of thing.
i miss that in steph, fuck, she knew why i was upset before i even knew myself.
ive gotta let that be the past though, cause when i leave ill just have memories to take with me, and the fact that no one will ever get me like that chick.
greg just got a new hookah, i can say its addicting, and some of the tobacco gets me pretty dizzy and out of sorts.
so from that , i know id like pot.
but i made a promise to you, that if i ever decided to try, it would be with you...and im not with you anymore, so i wont ever be trying.
i really need spill to go on tour again , im in some desperate need of my nicky baby.
and when he announces hes going with andrew, me and ash will fucking die.
i cant even wait.
shes all i got sometimes. like when jeanette is wrapped up in her own kind of nonsence, and greg just wont understand, i know i can always fall back on her, and her the same.
it sucks that i can count my real friends on one hand..what the hell happened?
my brother, greg, ash, jeanette, and erin.
i cant even call my mom my real friend anymore, does that suck or what?
eh, im in a mood.
gregs taking me out tonight, i fucking love him..he always saves me.
"sorry i wont be reachable for days
im taking time to let the story write its page"
- Mood:
apathetic - Music:tmo
well technically friday morning.
tomorrow is the start of a pretty long weekend with greg..im excited : )
i wish we would have been going up to the house..but oh well..there will be other weekends . right?
next weekend is my birthday..and im going to be 20. imnot a teenager anylonger.
thats pretty insane..i remember when i was shitting my draws.
i asked for a lapotop but of course..just as any other parent right now, mine bitched about money..and the lack there of.
whatevs, ill just take 300 and go shopping.
even though i went to the palisades and looked in a couple stores and couldnt find anything i liked.
idk..i think i like shopping alone..
im weird.
i got my nails done today..which was very well needed. my mom treated me..which was pretty bomb..being that im low on cash.
im leaving my job too..i dont make nearrr as much as i should be.
for christ sakes my little brother is working at BURGERKING and bringing in more money than me.
something is absolutely not right about that scenario.
im annoyed with everyone today its justw one of those days where i want to be alone.
bruce is in here..im not really annoyed with him..except when he farts and says," imagine that.. you dont have to its reality."
he reminds me of will ferell..and its odd that i can actually see him acting in a movie.
thatd be pretty sweetk.
and i bet if bruce did get famous, thats when marky would try and contact us.
fuck him
fuck his drug addiction.
fuck that crack whore of a cunt
and fuck their life together.
im so done with them its retarted.
fuckin swippppppppppppppppppppppptk.
when dark clouds cover the sky; like there is no hope.
you are the light.
you tell me to live.
(well..technically,not cause its after midnight on sunday..but whatevs.)
and it was fucking awesome, alot better than i expected to be honest.
i guess cause people always say hes always so plastered when he performs..i wasnt expecting anything extraordinary, but i was wrong.
so, ash and i are taking our sweet time walking down the boardwalk as doug and richie were speedracing down it. we see them ffar off at the end, and the turn around and start sprinting toward us..we were really confused but when they got there they grabbed us and basically made us run. HELLO at the end of the boardwalk was andrew mcmahon himself, just talking to his manager. everyone was there for paramore, so there was no one crowding him!!!!and WHATEVER, ash like met andrew mcmahon..really met him.he held her hand and said he loved her and she was awesome.
WHAT!?!
ive never seen her so god damn ghost like in her life..haha it was adorable.
anyways, im retardedly exhausted, i just wanted to mention the concert before i forgot
oh paramore sucks live >.<
how to post pictures on here? wtf.
so if thats the case, then the last entry was out of line.
but i wont delete it, cause its true
but regardless, i thought things were going to start to patch up, apparantly i was wrong.
and that, is exactly why our relationship is shot.
because you see, it is.
you cant just admit that you were in the wrong, without trying to take someone down with you.
i didnt try to talk to your brother behind your back. or let my boyfriends disrespect you..multiple times. i didnt put you in dangerous situations or get angry with you when you didnt want to give a drug dealer another shot.
if you can name one thing that i did that fucked our friendship by all means do so.
if its within reason, and a legit example. ill apologize for it
but untill then, ill solely blame you.
oh, and dont try to bring up the time when i went to gregs house after you and bighead were broken up for over a week?
try leaving someone you called your best friend while histerically broken up with a bf for a couple hours..if that
we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming.
We either adapt to change or we get left behind.
And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying.
But heres the truth:
the more things change, the more they stay the same.
And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good.
Oh, sometimes, change is ... everything"
im at ash's updating. its funny cause now she has two laptops and its what we do.2 fucking inches away from eachother and talk to eachother.haha i love her, and my life
so tonight, i got my birdies touched up.
well we planned on doing both , but cheryll was really stressed, and down.. i could see it in her face, so we just decided to finish the one, and do the other leg on wednesday,, or thursday whichever.
we added a little dose of color, and whatever. im just obsessedd!
turquoise, pink, yellow, and purp swirlies
not too much, not too little..just enough.
and i couldnt be happier with them.
ash actually sat through the whole thing wiff me thanks pippy!
well she owes me cause i sat while pinky and the brain inked her up. haha.
there isnt much else to saysince last time.
well i saw step brothers. and HOLLY fuck, what a magical pair those two are.
'
"shhshut your mouth ssshshhhshut your mouth. "
BAHAHAHAHAAA.
i have to go wash up my leg, and then off to bed, its 2 in the ante and im readyyyyy to make swip.
and i just sneezed, and my leg tensed upp and now my tattoo is tingling. COOOL
oh and i miss my boyfriend.
But they don't align for us.
Forgive me for I am the ocean.
And I will stop for you.
And I am your only place.
Search for the moment we shared.
recently nothing has been right..and sometimes you cant really speak your mind to someone your close with.
whether it be about them or not, people judge you.
an internet operated diary however, cannot.
and regardless if we arent friends anymore, you and ash are my closest.
judge all you deem necessary.. , i am who i am, because of you.
i went to the shore...and i got a hermit crab.
they told me he would live for 7-9 months.
negative. try 2 weeks. maybe?
he died sometimes this weekend.
i dont exactly know when..cause i was at gregs..and when i came home.
dead crabby.
that makes me pretty sad, he was like my first real pet..i paid for him, his food his house..everything...and hes dead.
and that really sucks.
im happier than ive ever been wtith greg..i love him and im dead set on settling.
its really wierd..ive never felt like this.
pause though; i think about will from time to time. probably because hes been texting me alot again.
" Never give up on someone you cant go one day without thinking about."
thats the text he sent me.
but i shouldnt think about him even for a minute..i mean how could i let someone who hurt me..so much interfere with a guy who has been nothing but fucking perfect to me.
i know i wont let him get in the middle, but it helps to talk about it though....and i dont really know who to go to with it.
ugh. i still wish i had a counselor.
oh ps though..i can go plenty of days without thinking of you, pig.
" the most variety i have in my life..is when i like..put my ipod on shuffle"
HAHHAA, ash that made me die..it did.
i wish i could say the same though. i have too many changing things in mine.
i love you, forever and im sorry that this kid dicked you all over.
we thought hed be the same.
he tricked us, he was cute he was charming. he was the same.
again, im sorry...and youll find that guy, im sure of it.
mom hasnt been showing many signs of improvement...god that just sounded like i was talking about a kid whos getting better grades in school..but no no. thats not the case.
i just need her to get better.
im going to watch girl interrupted ..again.
its a great movie.
" sing in chorus; I AM BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU."
and on that note, this is the end.
i just want to get away from this town, this house..this life.
moms really sick, and it scares me more and more everyday.. i really cant even think about her not beating this..its not an option for me because i would kill anyone and everyone.
seeing her so imobile, and emotionless makes me feel like i should be in her place..because she doesnt deserve this..not at all.
i mean, not saying that i deserve it, but by god i would take any /all of her pain away if it meant she didnt have to feel it.
john dad has be suprisingly awesome lately..maybe hes scared of losing her too, so he has to be nice..cause we are all hes got, and vice versa.
the more and more greg and i talk about moving into that apartment in astoria, the more i realize that i cant wait.
hes without a doubt, "him". even though i cant stand his family...and we know they cant stand me.
theyll just have to get over it though, because if im willing to put up with it because i love him, they should be doing the same.
i just want them to realize hes happy, and be happy for him. for us.
ash i really am sorry i couldnt come on your birthday..but my mother's wellbeing comes first, i hope you understand.
i knew id run into you at fireworks, and i can almost say i wanted to?
idk..i miss my best friend.
the one who got piercings with me.
no one else does that.
Things rarely ever go as planned.
Friends WILL be lost and hearts WILL be broken.
The person you thought you could count on most in this world WILL slowly but surely let you down.
But the best thing to do is hope for the best because there is always a tomorrow.
thats all.
im at a loss for words.
Your sincerety in that entry,blows me away. That always has.
You should be a god damn poet..
but the stability of all of those words..im not so sure.
i dont even know how to feel.
The bond i share with you is stronger than one of a family or even a boyfriend/husband, i could live without a guy..however i cant picture myself ..or my whole life even..without you. Years from now, all this bullshit wont even matter..but what will matter is knowing you were always the one to catch me right before i hit the ground. People dont remember what you say or what you do, but its how you make them feel. And you make me feel, lke the most deserving best friend in the world. ''
so reading back, makes me realize how fucking ironic and unfortunate.
kind of humurous actually
shit.
the bold part is really what blows me away, because now, i am infact living my life without you; stephanie nicole.
i can say its strange, and never in my life would i have thought.
but things happen and people change. life goes on.
let jimbopop and jocey know i miss them pretty hard.
give tink a swift kick in the ass cause i hate her
and tell al even though hes a shit, i miss him as well..
as for you , i miss you too, and sometimes i catch myself about to call you when something crazy happens to me...but i care about myself too much, and my own future to be by your side down this path you've unfortunately chosen.
good luck in all you do.
and with your next best friend, that she isnt as..how did you put it.. childish and juvenille as i.
" i would like to thank you for showing me a part of myself that i have never seen.
yeah we were young and dumb but it still was fun
but i guess these things just tend to fall apart.
And i hope you feel the same "
Goodbye, for good.
but don't brag about how wreckless you are, how obliverated you get EVERY SINGLE weekend.
It's not impressive, and you only sound like a tool. :]"
Ash, your completely fucking right.
i wouldnt have been able to word it better if i tried.
OH, and.
" I’m utterly disgusted with the path you trek
As inebriated as you can get off you're latest paycheck
I am at a loss for words here
I hate to break this to you but being a coward is not a legitimate career
Ten bucks says you don’t have it in you
To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to
You are careening shamelessly into oblivion"
sweetk.
dearest immature moronic cowardly brother of mine, grow the fuck up or get the fuck out.
your destroying all of us.
he makes my day fucking glorious.
seriously.
so my life lately..is pretty hectic, but this weekend was so chill and laid back..it makes me REALLY miss highschool.
ya know the days where it was SOLELY about which friend you were hanging with the upcoming weekend, and where.
there wasnt the burden of being called into work, or having to take off.
erin connor john emily bruce lindsey jess kevin greg and i, just barbequed and swam ALL saturday.
and it was fucking awesome.
i really am excited to go to the beach with my best friends. its been far too long.
im going to lay in the sandy sun untill im a nigger..no joke.
then maybe go on the boardwalk..and get an unprofessional piercing again..haha.
fuck my life
repiercing bad piercings really really suck, i dont advise it..at all.
but what im excited for most is the show this weeek.
mother of god i might just shit where i sit.
overall..right now is probably the best time of my life, my prime..so to speak.. and thank god i got rid of all the drama
seriously im so over the immaturity of almost everyone i know..its rediculous.
i wouldnt change anything right now. and i mean anything.
anywho. im going swimming right now, because its hotter than the devils anus in my room.
i am unbreakable
but it looks like i could
sometime soon.
you are unreachable..about as possible
as me touching the moon.
